


Pirated Souls

by Missy



Category: Ash vs Evil Dead (TV), Evil Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Backstory, Drinking, Gen, Graduation Night, Haunted Houses, Humor, Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 20:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21185432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Ash and Chet go to a haunted house, but the fake ghost pirate which confronts Ash might be much more than they appear.





	Pirated Souls

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this art prompt: https://images46.fotki.com/v678/photos/6/3814576/16026379/2b2df48825827_562991f9f071f-vi.jpg

“Relax, Ash my good man.” Chet was somehow breathing and drooling in Ash’s ear at the same time, which was the most disgusting thing he’d experienced in his entire life. He smelled like circus peanuts and piss, which wasn’t the best combination even when he was sober. Pushing the man gently away, he gives him an awkward sideways grin. 

“I’m relaxed! Cooler than a cucumber.” Ash shoved his hands into the pocket of his letterman jacket. They’d been walking circles around the same block for ten minutes, which meant that soon he was going to need to get some food in him before he flopped dead of malnutrition.

As always with Chet, food was a low priority. The guy was drunk and kept drinking until Ash was pretty sure he was going to fall over. That’d be hard to explain to Chet’s dad. Especially if they came home with a horse and a blow-up doll like they did on senior skip day.

Somehow, they’d made it to the docks, that tiny area near the shoreline that boarded Lake Michigan. The Pirate Festival was happening this year, as it happened every year around highschool graduation, and he could see several suspiciously familiar looking pirates giving tours.

“Shit, I wish I’d invited Linda,” said Ash.

Chet blinked at him slowly. “Which one?”

“The ballerina! Jesus!” He hadn’t thought of Linda Bates since she’d dumped him for puking on her during a kegstand. So what if he couldn’t hold is liquor?

“Right, right dude!” Chet said brightly. “I’m totes gonna go grab some brewskies and see if any babes wanna see how I swing my sword!”

“Please shut up,” Ash grumbled as Chet stumbled away. His eyes were drawn to a very large Spanish Galleon that was docked at the end of the pier. Covered with ornate-looking carvings, he’d never seen it before during any of the previous celebrations. 

Something else seemed to be in control of Ash’s limbs as he moved up the gangway. As he brushed his palm along the wooden railing and walked among the revelers filling the deck.

“You seem to be lost.”

He spun around and saw a man…well, he looked a bit like him. Just older…rounder. Taller. Ash, for once was lost for words.

The mechanical arm in particular was distracting.

He smiled. “Have you seen a ghost?”

_Not if I’m looking at the future,_ Ash thought. Then he mentally added _wait, what the fuck am I thinking about?_

Suddenly cannonfire sounded in the distance. “All hands on deck!” The pirate shouted. Ash felt himself get knocked around as other sailors stormed the deck. Suddenly wood began to splinter around him; he could smell cordite, smoke, everywhere.

Ash did the only thing he thought appropriate in such a situation – he ran in a panic toward the gangway. He could hear the pirate laughing as Ash ran until he was clear of the battle.

He bumped chestfirst into Chet.

“Dude! You almost made me spill my brew!” complained Chet.

“I’ve got a reason!” Ash yelled.

“What reason?” Chet blinked.

“Are you crazy?” Ash said. “Those guys…” He looked over his shoulder. 

The ship and pirate were gone.

Only Ash had been left behind, smelling of gunpowder and smoke.

He turned, wide-eyed, back to Chet, who blinked at him.

“What?” Chet asked.

Ash shook his head. “Never mind, man. Let’s go get wasted.”

Then maybe the world would look right again. Almost normal.


End file.
